Your Love
Your love for me is tangible
It never is in doubt
You show that love in many ways
And strive to help me out
The tragedy is that you feel
So strongly about what's "right"
You taught, lived and disciplined
Your truths both day and night
I could not find myself
Not in your close held truths
No matter how hard I tried
Against me, I did choose
Our mutual love kept me trapped
In striving to do your "good"
I only denied myself
Far longer than I should
Years passed by and finally
I managed to start to heal
Finding my own deep "truths"
That, to you, are not real
You try to show your love
By calling me every day
I sometimes forget you care
When you talk to me this way
You see, your love is hurting me
And what you think is help
Is abject torture to my ears
Wrapped in loving stealth
If I were to try to do
The things that you require
To save my soul, eternally
I know that I'd expire
This love you share hurts
I cannot talk to you more
I understand why you act
and yet, I must close the door
You don't understand, You won't understand
Your beliefs get in the way
Your love for me it hurts too much
And I must stay away
And I must stay away.
Your love for me is tangible
It never is in doubt
You show that love in many ways
And strive to help me out
The tragedy is that you feel
So strongly about what's "right"
You taught, lived and disciplined
Your truths both day and night
I could not find myself
Not in your close held truths
No matter how hard I tried
Against me, I did choose
Our mutual love kept me trapped
In striving to do your "good"
I only denied myself
Far longer than I should
Years passed by and finally
I managed to start to heal
Finding my own deep "truths"
That, to you, are not real
You try to show your love
By calling me every day
I sometimes forget you care
When you talk to me this way
You see, your love is hurting me
And what you think is help
Is abject torture to my ears
Wrapped in loving stealth
If I were to try to do
The things that you require
To save my soul, eternally
I know that I'd expire
This love you share hurts
I cannot talk to you more
I understand why you act
and yet, I must close the door
You don't understand, You won't understand
Your beliefs get in the way
Your love for me it hurts too much
And I must stay away
And I must stay away.
I love this poem. Not sure if I read it before...but I love it. And I understand it. I have had family beliefs travel in directions that were not my heart's desire or truth in the extreme before and trying to turn and please is like wearing a different skin. It is very strange, but also deeply painful. I love the clarity of your writing. I travel there with you and come out where you do. Very moving piece, even though I am sure the experience is much more a luxury for me.
ReplyDeleteEverything is better shared... truly honored you feel the shared experience in my self therapy... yes... most of my poetry is exactly that... that others find resonance in them is a wondrous thing to me.
ReplyDeleteI understand that. Alot of my writing is too...but I bury it under layers when it meets storytelling. Lol. You are right, everything is better "shared."
ReplyDelete